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13-Mar-2019 07:32

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I've never understood log trucks, sometimes you'll be out on the highway, you see two big giant trucks loaded up with logs, and they pass each other on the highway... I saw this sign posted once, it said, 'blasting zone ahead'.

and they need 'em over there, you'd think a phone call would save 'em a whole lot of trouble. What do you mean there's a blasting zone, what am I supposed to do, 'Hey-- ah, you might wanna buckle up, blasting zone coming up.

"Tell me the exact moment point A is directly over point B." "Now!

I don't know I don't know." I'm afraid if I get it off by an eighth of a second I'll get these big, hubble coming attraction glasses. Whoever the salesman is for cranberries is doing a great job.

But you know where it all went wrong was the day they started the spelling bee.

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Get up at the crank of noon, make sure there's no corn growin'. Well, you know how his right arm - usually it would bend like that? And it's no big deal because we already looked at it. They call it softball, makes it sound like it's harmless, you know. Then how come when anyone ever calls you that, it's an insult? Good job, Einstein.' I don't think we're honoring that man properly by using his name in vain in parking lots. The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn.