Dating someone going through a messy divorce
So now that we’ve settled that, let’s get down to the nitty gritty and take a look at what exactly you need to consider when dating a person going through a divorce. A divorce also includes many other details, like division of assets, which may be stressing them as well.
An important point to note here is this: Yes, we needed to stress it that much! This mental confusion coupled with general emotional turmoil can lead to some irrational behavior, which you’ll need to take in your stride.
But they may not be ready to start looking at houses or naming your future kids!
But when they do, you can be assured that it’s after some good thought, since they’re not likely to jump into something they may regret later. Oscillating physical needs Like the conversation about the ex, sex is also tricky with a nearly-divorced person.
You’ll obviously have to sit through a few rants, but any more and you’re turning into their substitute therapist! They may not be ready to commit right away A person going through divorce has been burnt, and they’re going to be wary of the commitment waters for some time.
If they’re ready to date, it means that they’ve gotten over (hopefully) their ex and they’re ready to have a relationship with someone.
Kids change the equation completely and require much more effort, so if you’re not up to it, let it go from the very beginning! For starters, let’s look at what you need to know when dating a childless individual going through a divorce. The last thing they need is you nagging them; they already had more than enough with their (almost) ex-spouse! Expect a (temporary) pall of gloom Going through a divorce isn’t a walk in the park; and if the ex is like those vengeful psychos you see onscreen, then it’s certainly a walk through hell!
It’s easier than with kids, but you may have some other things to deal with. You may have to deal with some irrationality An individual in the process of getting a divorce is sort of in no man’s land and they may feel at sea when it comes to understanding their current status. So while your date is officially separated and ready to see new people, they may not be cheerful and optimistic all the while, so you’ll have to accept the temporary gloom till things are resolved.
Conversation about the ex is a tricky situation – some people may rant on and on about their exes, while some don’t even mention them, other than ‘you-know-who’ or something like that.Dating is never an easy, straightforward affair; and it probably wasn’t meant to be so either!When you are just getting to know a person, there are many things to consider, and several lines you cannot cross.At this point, the couple has probably even been living separately, and legalities aside, they are no longer husband and wife, for all intents and purposes.
For a couple like this, dating while going through a divorce isn’t equivalent to an affair or a spur of the moment thing; it’s because for all practical purposes, they’re single and ready to mingle!Now, you may have to see the ex while they drop off or pick up the beloved pet, and some of the kid problems begin to apply. Now, we get to the more complicated matter of dating an individual going through a divorce – with kids.