Internalized racism and dating
But as a child who knew little more than the fact that we were all Black and shared that basic commonality, I was deeply confused and pained by the lack of acceptance and the bullying that I experienced – primarily by Black girls in my school:“Which one of your parents is white, your mama or your daddy? When I came home, my mom would express concern over my lack of Black friends, which confused me further.
We had been smoking pot in a public space, and the white officer was responding to a report. But he gave us a brief lecture, smashed my pipe on the pavement, took our information, and let us go.I know how the police would have responded to this call had it involved two of my darker skinned brothers. I have seen them stopped for no reason aside from their complexion, questioned with their backs against the wall and their hands up.And while it is disproportionately Black men who are brutalized by the police and vigilantes, this violence and psychological terror also impacts Black womyn and trans* womyn of color.As a youth with no real understanding of “colorism” – – I felt confusion, shame, and pain around my skin color and the story it told.
Look at a photo of my extended family, and you will see skin tones as broad and diverse as the Black community and the African Diaspora itself.There is no denying the impact this had on me – I had deeply hurt feelings.